Nairobi Horror Stories

"Um, how should I say this without offending anyone?" John said to me in a hushed tone, glancing over his shoulder to the middle aisle next to us where a black, Kenyan man was reading a newspaper. And hushed tones or not, I felt that John had said this a little too loud, "Kenyans can be quite brutal people."

Thus begins the Nairobi horror stories.

A former business associate of John's had married a Kenyan woman and settled down in the plush (white) neighborhood of Karen.

The guy's wife had cheated on him and she contracted HIV. When she later died of AIDS, the house was thrown into some kind of a custody battle of sorts between he and the former Mrs's family members. I'm not really sure how the family would have any rights to the place at all. John didn't clearly explain this. Most likely, it's some kind of a racial law which gives privilege to black Kenyans. I'm not sure.

Anyhow, the woman's family came up with a solution.

The man's body was found hanging in the living room. In addition, evidence suggested he had been tortured to death in a multitude of ways.

Failing to get me screaming for an emergency landing, John decided to try again, this time with a personal account.

Some years ago, John was in Nairobi on business. Upon leaving the entry way of the Nairobi Hilton, a massive Kenyan man presented himself. The man stretched his hand out and guessed, "Dutch?"

"No, British", John told him as his hand rightfully shot out.

The man, however, had no plans of letting the John's hand go. He began dragging John toward a "particularly nasty" piece of downtown Nairobi called River Road.

John found the man's grip inescapable. He then told his giant captor, "Look, either let me go, or I'm going to yell, 'thief'". In Nairobi, calling someone a thief is akin to a death sentence. Apparently, crowds of other Kenyans will pounce on a thief and police will shoot to kill without hesitation or interrogation. Understandably, John's hand was immediately freed.

After these delightful tales, John relocated himself to a row of empty seats where he could lay down. Yet, for some reason, I couldn't sleep just yet.